Saturday, 14 November 2009

Wife Pulls Knife on Husband over Vodka

From Arizona Central....

Police said a woman threatened her husband with a 7-inch knife after he threw away her bottle of vodka as she slept in their suburban Detroit home.
Clawson police Lt. Scott Sarvello told The Daily Tribune of Royal Oak the man returned home from work Sunday night to find his wife sleeping with a bottle of vodka. He threw away the bottle.
Sarvello said the 34-year-old woman woke up, argued with her husband, went back to sleep, then got up again and grabbed a knife from the kitchen to force him to get her vodka or give her the car keys.
Police said the man held her at bay with a chair while he called 911.
She was arrested and found to have a blood-alcohol level of 0.23 percent. She was arraigned Tuesday on a felony charge of assault with a dangerous weapon.

Jeez, if I had a pound for every time my wife pulled a knife on me and I had to hold her off with a chair while I called 911, I'd have enough money to move to a country that wasn't full of ugly people.

And as you can imagine, there were numerous times it was over alcohol (mine).  Sometimes it was over pornography (she found it).  Sometimes (actually, an inordinate amount of time) it was over the TV, namely, my abuse of the shit she was watching.  Occasionally it was about snoring.  Mostly it was when I was 8 to 14 hours late home for a meal (hitting deadlines was not my strong suit). 

But the cops were always total professionals.  No-one ever breathalysed her and charged her with felony assault.  These cops clearly don't understand domestic issues.  Standard operating procedure in my experience is to calm her down with a slap or two, and then 15 minutes in the cuffs.  Sure, the first 5 or 10, she's still screaming, but I can promise she's bawling to get out after 15.

No need for time at the courthouse. 

Clawson Police Lt Scott Sarvell - OUT.

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