From the Daily Record....
A LUCKLESS romeo has sued cosmetics firm Lynx after he failed to land a girlfriend during seven years of using their products. Indian Vaibhav Bedi, 26, is seeking £50,000 from parent company Unilever for the “depression and psychological damage” caused by the lack of any Lynx effect. Court officials in New Delhi have accepted dozens of half-used body washes, shampoos, anti-perspirants and hair gels for forensic tests.
Lynx – marketed as Axe in India – is famous for its saucy ads showing barely clothed women throwing themselves at men. Vaibhav said in his court petition: “The company cheated me because in its advertisements, it says women will be attracted to you if you use Axe. I used it for seven years but no girl came to me.”
Yeah, I'm ruling in favour of Unilever here. This motherfucker is uglier than a farm animal, and no degree of deodorisers or body washers is gonna help that. And he's obviously as dumb as dogshit thinking it would, so that's not going to help him either.
And on that note, who the fuck sues anyone for £50k? Unilever make £3 billion a year, dickhead. You want to get some attention, you've got to sue for 7 figures minimum.
P.S. If you're Unilever, what's the simplest way to win this case? Spend a load on legal fees defending it? Or spend 150 rupees on a hooker to "miraculously" hook up with him, saying it was the Axe that did it? I tell you, I should be a corporate executive. We'd still all be smoking if I was.
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