They're Not Even Polishing the Turds Anymore: Cleveland Browns

BRAGGING RIGHTS

The Browns are one of the league’s storied franchises, winning all four AAFL titles before joining the NFL and winning four NFL titles.  Haven’t been to a Superbowl yet since they’ve been running 44 years. 

WHERE IT ALL STARTED TO GO WRONG

Debatable….

They do play in a city that set fire to its own river, so they’re pretty tolerant of things being shit for a while until they explode totally.

They pissed off Bill Belichick pretty bad in the 90s – since then, the original team left for Baltimore, they had three years without a team.  But that’d be more of a witch doctor theory.

My thinking…..does Randy Lerner (above) look like he should be in charge of a billion-dollar organisation, or an organic egg stall?

WHAT THEY DID TO GET SO GOOD THIS YEAR

Well, they were pretty shit already. But then, incredibly, thinking this could be a solution to the problem, they hired Eric Mangini. Eric-fucking-Mangini.  And gave him the keys to the joint!  Full football authority!  He hired his friend as GM who, of course, they fired this week.

Mangini proceeded to grab anyone on the Jets roster who couldn’t get a start, and to trade away the best two offensive players.  He drafted a CENTRE in the first round after a wallop of draft trades in order to demonstrate that he was too smart for his own good.

But probably the highlight of his arrogance-ineptitude combination has been the “quarterback contest”.  After announcing it will be an open competition, he picks Brady Quinn with a few days to go to game 1, filling him with confidence.  Quinn, with all of 10 league starts, is mediocre on a shit team with a fence post and an old tyre to pass to.  However, after an off-season to get the most important offensive decision right, Mangini benches him after 10 quarters for Derek Anderson.  Now Anderson’s not having mediocre – no sir.  He’s a total disaster: completing 42% of his passes, for 2 TD’s with 9 interceptions and 5 fumbles.  Before he gets benched too.

WHERE THEY ARE NOW

One winning season and one playoff spot in a decade.  Zero division titles.

1-7 this season.  Have scored FIVE offensive touchdowns in their last 14 games.

Totally fucking awful – culturally, on-field, off-field. They are now paying for one fired coach and two fired GM’s, all on over a million salary a year, all for 3 plus more seasons.

WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE

Lerner was right – he needed to rebuild the culture and structures of the place.  They’ve been shit since getting back into the league in 1999.  But Randy, fuck me dead, fire Eric Mangini – he is not part of the solution, he’s part of the problem.  Blind Freddie could see that last January, and they can sure as hell see it now.

This isn’t Oakland or Washington where you can’t get someone to work for you.  Fire him and start again with an experienced NFL man, and insist on a structure that builds confidence in the organisation’s people.

There’s not much more to say than that.  Everything else is a mess – start there, get a top guy, and then you can evaluate your office, your personnel and your coaches and scouts.

And stop fucking up my Sundays.  Turds.