Las Vegas Sun- Even the men who hand out “nude girls direct to your room” cards stopped their hawking long enough to do some gawking at the “stripper-mobile” as it rolled down the Strip on Monday night. It’s akin to a small U-Haul truck but with Plexiglas surrounding the brightly lit cargo area instead of walls. In the middle is a gleaming stripper pole. Swinging around the pole is a scantily clad young woman. Two of her fellow strippers are in the back of the truck too, awaiting their turns. Puttering up and down Las Vegas Boulevard on Monday night, it was photographed by nearly everyone it pulled alongside, from CityCenter construction workers to an SUV-load of 20-somethings from Colorado.
Wow.
This is one of those things that once it's invented, you go "shit, why didn't I think of that?"
It's just genius all the way. The name, "Stripper-mobile". A gleaming stripper pole. Scantily clad young woman. Two fellow strippers waiting their turn.
People who haven't been to Vegas always ask me how it could go from being a desert stop-off for GI's to the fastest growing city in America, and literally I think, heaven on earth. Obviously I don't answer them, because what sort of asshole over the age of 21 hasn't been to Vegas? Fuck them. There's no excuse for wasting your life like that, especially with the internet. These people are just destined to be losers.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. This is the simplest, yet greatest thing of all time. I mean it beats out the sunshade on the car, toilet paper, the toilet, the rissole (just), and is in a tie for first place with the wet t-shirt competition.
But just a word of caution. If you look beyond the picture and first paragraph of the article (it took 9 reads and 4 days for me to do it, I was so enamored by the genius of it), you'll find there's an asshole or two who want to ban it.
Fuck. Me. Dead. Did they not hear that it had doubled business at the Deja Vu and Little Darlings clubs? In a recession!?!?!? There are safety precautions being taken you dickheads - the costumes are skin-tight to prevent wardrobe malfunctiona!
I've never understood why people would want to run for public office. No more drink driving, no more hookers, no more strip bars, and a real job. But it's just hit me. It's to protect our way of life from these interfering, hate-mongering, progress-molesting hethens. If I wasn't too busy reading stories about strippers and pole dancers, I'd consider getting out there and serving my country.
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